“Express gratitude to Shalini for X”. “Praise Peter for Y”. People judged me for putting these things on my task list. But here’s what they missed: In the India I grew up in, it was not common for people to express praise & gratitude. In fact parents & teachers believed that frequent praise spoils the child. So without role models & regular practice, I never learnt how to give praise & gratitude. They were just not a part of my life.
Then I learnt how powerfully praise impacts performance & gratitude impacts peace of mind. I understood that to become a better leader & a happier person, I had to improve on them. But I found this very hard to do. So I started by using recommended formats & scheduling them as tasks. It felt a bit unnatural, but it ensured I was doing them regularly & learning to do them well. Overtime, as I got better, I relied less on these supporting structures. Now gratitude & praise are core parts of my work & life. Every year I do them more and they enrich my life in beautiful ways. I feel my childhood experiences are not an exception. Many of us grew up in environments where our elders just didn’t realise the importance of praise & gratitude. If that’s you & you want to make them a bigger part of your life, don’t feel shy of starting with the support structures you need. It’s not your fault that you didn’t experience them early on in your life. Don’t let the judgement of others stop you from making them a part of your life from now on.